The Balance Between Systems and Self

Something I found really impactful this week (thanks to this podcast episode from Jenna Kutcher!) feels a little contradictory.
But the magic, it turns out, is in the balance.

Facing What We Avoid

Lately, I’ve been trying to face the things that scare me or make me feel shame about how I run my business — the areas I tend to avoid — and instead, create small, thoughtful SOPs (standard operating procedures) around them.

Because when I don’t, they just hang out in the back of my mind, taking up way too much space.

And the same goes for home.
When the laundry piles up, dishes stack, and we’re somehow out of diapers again, it’s easy for the mental load to start feeling impossible.

So I’ve been doing the same thing there: building systems that help me face what I usually avoid and keep things from stacking up as quickly.

Letting the ‘Perfect Self’ Go

Here’s the contradictory part: I’m also learning to let my perfect self go.

A friend dropped a book in my mailbox this week — New Happy (affiliate link) — and it’s been eye-opening in the best way.

It made me realize how much my “perfect self” has been the one quietly running the show. The version of me deciding what’s good enough, what success looks like, and what I should feel ashamed of (everything imperfect, which is… everything haha).

But that version of me isn’t objective.
She’s loud, rigid, and pretty unhelpful.

She’s trying to protect me — like a blaring alarm signaling something’s off — but letting her drive the car isn’t wise. My true self — the human one who’s allowed to make mistakes and doesn’t need to do everything flawlessly — should be the one making the calls.

Creating ‘True-Self’ SOPs

So lately, I’ve been creating what I call true-self SOPs.

They let my perfect self feel heard — like paying attention to the alarm — but then I actually turn it off, so the human in me who needs grace and care can take over.

Little things, like:
– Taking laundry downstairs when I leave for a workout
– Moving it to the dryer at lunch
– Folding it at night while we’re all hanging out

Or with work:
– Setting a timer to answer emails first thing before I start creating
– Blocking out days to batch tasks I habitually avoid, so my schedule doesn’t magically fill up and push them off (again)

It’s not perfect, but it’s realistic.
And that’s what’s been freeing. It fits into what I’m already doing — and it removes the guilt when it doesn’t get done perfectly.

So here’s my encouragement for you this week:

Pick one thing you’ve been avoiding — the one that makes you wince a little when you think about it.
Maybe it’s your finances, your inbox, your client process, whatever it is.

Then look at it — without shame — as your true self would.
The one who’s gracious, curious, and human.

Create a small, gentle system to help you face it regularly.

That’s a true-self SOP.
And it might just clear more mental clutter than you’d expect.

It’s only been a week, but it’s already helping me breathe a little easier.
I hope it helps you too.